Thirty Days.........

It's been thirty days since DTS ended. It feels like just yesterday the whole thing started and I arrived in Montana, nervous and excited to begin a new journey. I can hardly believe how time passes by so quickly and it just goes to show that we must take hold of every opportunity that comes our way. The past thirty days have been full of friends, family, work, and more emotions than I can list. I have pretty much adjusted back into daily life and my new "normal" but that didn't come without it's own struggles.

The last week of DTS was called "debrief" week and it was all about how to re-enter into your home after such a whirlwind experience. All week I kept thinking to myself that I would have no problems going home and that all the information they told us wouldn't really apply to me. I was coming home to a great family, a supportive group of friends, an awesome church, and not to mention my old job! Fast forward to my arrival home and boy, I quickly realized how wrong my thoughts had been.  It was not as easy as I had hoped it to be and I found myself frustrated with all the emotions I felt towards things. Don't get me wrong, I was beyond ready and happy to be home but I just didn't realize how different things were going to be.

Over the course of five months my worldview changed and my life was transformed by Jesus. I didn't realize that back at home peoples lives went on and changed as well. After coming off a time doing ministry all day for two months and really setting aside time to focus on my relationship with Christ, I found myself missing those things. I missed living in a community and having someone always readily available to talk to or hang out with. I missed the people I grew so close with and friendships I developed. I missed Africa and the culture I so dearly came to love. I missed YWAM Montana and the time spent there.

I started to feel guilty for missing all those things and I didn't want to make my family and friends feel like I wasn't happy to see them and be home. God quickly reminded me that I shouldn't beat myself up for experiencing all these emotions but rather embrace them and let Him guide me through them. I have finally come to a place where I have processed through a lot of things and I can see more clearly. I look back on my DTS with lots of fond memories and I see how much God worked in my heart but I also realize that He has new memories to be made in my future. He has given me such great opportunities to shine His light here in my own hometown and to let the transformation that took place in my heart during DTS, to show in my daily life.

A lot has happened in thirty days and I'm so glad that Jesus has walked through it all with me. What an awesome father He is! I look back with a lot of thankfulness in my heart but now I'm focusing forward, ready to embrace all that Christ has in store for me. During this time of adjustment I kept going back to Hebrews 12:1-3 which just so happened to be the DTS theme verse. It says this "Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and since which clings closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, despising the same, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted." I am choosing to stay focused on Christ and run relentlessly after Him!